"I'm glad," said Pastor Kyle.
"Yeah," I said. I didn't want to compound my lie with unnecessary details.
"How long will you be around?" he asked. "I can think of a few people who would love to see you."
I laughed. It's such a nice feeling, knowing that people have missed you. To miss and be missed is a wonderful thing. "I can think of a few people I'd love to see."
"Angela is an intern in the YS office. She should be in later today. And you know Nicole is Pastor Kathryn's assistant now?"
I nodded. I didn't know any of these things. Angela and I used to be friends - not close, but we would see each other outside of church. Nicole was several years older than the both of us, and worked for the teen department of Youth Services. She was like the older sister I never had, and I always got the feeling that she tried to be that for a lot of the girls.
I noticed that Pastor Kyle never mentioned Rob, my ex-boyfriend. Rob was three years older than me, and volunteered in the teen department. He played second guitar in the band, he helped set up for services, he led after-meeting discussions in small groups, he gave pre-sermon announcements.
Most importantly (to my sixteen-year-old self), he was gorgeous. I always wondered why he never got the attention that Curran, the lead singer of the band got. At least half the girls were crazy about Curran, who, admittedly, had a great singing voice, but wasn't as good-looking as Rob and was more self-absorbed. I also thought he had a stupid name, unlike Rob, and I disliked him for that reason, too. But the fact that Curran had a strange name and wouldn't have made my list of the top-ten best-looking guys in the entirety of Youth Services didn't seem to stop those girls. What was always so disappointing about Curran, I thought, was that he was actually quite good-looking on stage, but up close, he was hovering somewhere right around average.
I remembered the first time I went to the youth group. I was fifteen years old, and up onstage was Curran, singing and playing his acoustic guitar. I was impressed. This place had a good band, decent lighting, and a surprisingly good-looking band, at that. After the band was finished, we were all listening to Pastor Kyle's sermon, and I spotted Curran three rows ahead of me on my left. I was incredibly disappointed - almost shocked. Some girls sitting behind him were whispering and giggling and eyeing him, and it made absolutely no sense to me.
I don't remember the first time I saw Rob. I barely remember meeting him. All I remember is he was wearing a Childish Gambino T-shirt, which impressed me because I was also a fan of Donald Glover. I remember knowing him for months and not thinking anything of him at all. I have no idea when I started liking him. All I know is that one day something shifted inside of me and I saw Rob in an entirely different light.
Labels: january brings few faces